did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
