He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize