Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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