and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
