There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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