I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
how does that bad decision feel?
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