You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
