Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
