I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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