kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Panties = found
Randomize
