Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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