you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
