Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
