Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
