yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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