Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
