If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
