please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
