he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is wine microwaveable?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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