I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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