Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
