there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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