so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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