Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
