i already hear my dad disowning me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
