the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
