i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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