My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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