planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
