I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's blow job season.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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