youre lurking in front of me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
