Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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