i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't deserve a penis
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
