WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
