Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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