No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
