I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
time to smoke my breakfast
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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