I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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