I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
