I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
