My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
