Say something about gay babies.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
