I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
