like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
