Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
