that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
