O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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