Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
