He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
