I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
