i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
