dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How does one acquire holy water?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
