We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
