I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
