I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
