Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
