dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
