oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
