i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
