Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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