Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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