One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
