Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
